I'm a social worker by trade - specifially, I have my MSW from Saint Louis University. I spent two jam-packed years taking a deep look at policy analysis, social action, social change, nonprofits...if it was macro-level social work, you name it, and I probably dabbled in it. I especially cultivated a love of policy analysis and community action.
What this means is, between the filibuster in the Texas senate on Tuesday and SCOTUS' decisions on Wednesday, my little heart has been full to the brim of passion, curiosity, worry, and hope.
On Tuesday, I was so jittery about the impending SCOTUS decisions and the impact they would have on so many of my friends and loved ones on all sides of the issue that I couldn't focus until I put my thoughts on paper.
So I did.
And then I tried something new. True to the nature of this "try it" experiment, it was something brand new and something that pushed me out of my comfort zone. It wasn't as blatantly stupid as a dehydrated attempt at hot yoga or as silly as a romp through Skyrim. This was a bit more serious, a bit more personal, and a bit more like something I've wanted to "try" for a very, very long time.
I let go of the end product and sent it out to others. Rather than keeping my thoughts private, fearing the consequences or conversation that could follow, I got brave.
I'm sure it seems like a really small step to others, but for me, this was monumental. For me, this was big and scary and deeply nerve-wracking. It was nothing short of putting my heart on the line, and it felt vulnerable. Which, I think we can all agree, is a decidedly gross feeling to have.
My open letter to the Supreme Court of the United States was shared on the Reconciling Ministries Network blog. Aside from this silly little self-publication, this is the first time I've made a formal effort to contribute anything to anywhere.
Because I am horribly vain, I can tell you that it got over 70 likes and 25 shares on their facebook page.
Because I am attempting to be honest, I can tell you that I hate that I know and hoard little external indicators of approval like this. What can I say? I'm a recovering grade-grubber.
Most of all, though, I can tell you this: I learned, and I grew. I put myself out there in a way that felt too big, too scary, too ambitious, and way too honest. I shared something that came from a part of me that was deeply held and very raw - knowing that it's usually the raw parts of us that will get us into the most trouble.
But the sky didn't fall.
The opposite happened.
My mind cleared. My shoulders unpinned from my ears, at least temporarily. And I made connections with new folks and deeper connections with known folks. I had some really great, productive, and interesting conversations, and it all felt really good.
There isn't really a conclusion to this "try it" list accomplishment. This will be an ongoing wrestling match - to share or to keep silent, to invite difficult, scary conversations or avoid them, to be open and vulnerable or, y'know, stay sane.
This was a first step. True to all first steps, it was wobbly and uncertain.
Here's hoping for more steps without speculating on where they're headed.
What this means is, between the filibuster in the Texas senate on Tuesday and SCOTUS' decisions on Wednesday, my little heart has been full to the brim of passion, curiosity, worry, and hope.
On Tuesday, I was so jittery about the impending SCOTUS decisions and the impact they would have on so many of my friends and loved ones on all sides of the issue that I couldn't focus until I put my thoughts on paper.
So I did.
And then I tried something new. True to the nature of this "try it" experiment, it was something brand new and something that pushed me out of my comfort zone. It wasn't as blatantly stupid as a dehydrated attempt at hot yoga or as silly as a romp through Skyrim. This was a bit more serious, a bit more personal, and a bit more like something I've wanted to "try" for a very, very long time.
I let go of the end product and sent it out to others. Rather than keeping my thoughts private, fearing the consequences or conversation that could follow, I got brave.
I'm sure it seems like a really small step to others, but for me, this was monumental. For me, this was big and scary and deeply nerve-wracking. It was nothing short of putting my heart on the line, and it felt vulnerable. Which, I think we can all agree, is a decidedly gross feeling to have.
My open letter to the Supreme Court of the United States was shared on the Reconciling Ministries Network blog. Aside from this silly little self-publication, this is the first time I've made a formal effort to contribute anything to anywhere.
Because I am horribly vain, I can tell you that it got over 70 likes and 25 shares on their facebook page.
Because I am attempting to be honest, I can tell you that I hate that I know and hoard little external indicators of approval like this. What can I say? I'm a recovering grade-grubber.
Most of all, though, I can tell you this: I learned, and I grew. I put myself out there in a way that felt too big, too scary, too ambitious, and way too honest. I shared something that came from a part of me that was deeply held and very raw - knowing that it's usually the raw parts of us that will get us into the most trouble.
But the sky didn't fall.
The opposite happened.
My mind cleared. My shoulders unpinned from my ears, at least temporarily. And I made connections with new folks and deeper connections with known folks. I had some really great, productive, and interesting conversations, and it all felt really good.
There isn't really a conclusion to this "try it" list accomplishment. This will be an ongoing wrestling match - to share or to keep silent, to invite difficult, scary conversations or avoid them, to be open and vulnerable or, y'know, stay sane.
This was a first step. True to all first steps, it was wobbly and uncertain.
Here's hoping for more steps without speculating on where they're headed.
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